quinta-feira, 29 de setembro de 2011

SELL ME ON THE IDEA

You don't have to sell me on the idea that I need a long time off from work.

I’ve seen a million billboards trying to sell me on the idea of god.

http://adium.me/2011/05/my-personal-views-on-religion/

That means to talk someone into doing something; convince.

terça-feira, 27 de setembro de 2011

NAIVITÉ
On an unusual summery evening, my 4-year old son decided he really needed to have sushi for dinner. He claimed hot food wouldn’t be welcome by his stomach. Getting hold of some friends and family, we all agreed our best bet to savor some authentic Japanese chow was at the Asian district, not too far from downtown. I suggested heading to an eatery on the main street of that borough which embraced some of the best ethnic restaurants. The downside was the place bordered the city’s red light district.
In hindsight, most people must have thought it would be amusing to have dinner at such place. You know how curious folks we can be.
At 7:45 p.m., we all were there.
As we walked past a bamboo screen, we were greeted in Japanese by the owner/cook/waiter/cashier and possibly, busboy. It sounded: irasshaimase. We had absolute no idea what it meant, but assumed he had said “good-evening, welcome”.
Having sat on the floor, we ordered. After minutes, that felt like seconds – the conversation was kosher – a colorful large dish was placed in front of us. Fishes, lobster, squid and shrimp handcrafted in appealing bite-sized pieces decorated the already dressed-up wooden plate.
After the meal and the many domestic beers, we kept on talking at the table.
Needless to say that the beer made us more cheerful, talkative and gregarious. So we were laughing and telling funny and embarrassing stories about our pasts and about people we knew, but were not there to deconstruct our fibs.
At one point, we noticed it was way past our bedtime. My son had fallen asleep on my lap at least 15 minutes earlier. Either he didn’t have the patience to listen to us or he was exhausted. I would vote for the latter.
I asked everyone else to leave before I did because I had to go down the stairs very slowly - sloth slowly; I was carrying a valuable package who wasn’t going to rise until dawn.
Everyone was gone.
Inching away from the mosquito screen, I took a glimpse of a young gorgeous girl who had just parallel parked her two-seater. Opening the back door of my hatchback, I made sure Erik was comfortable and rolled down both back windows an inch.
She was standing right next to the building I had had dinner at, looking lovely. Her taut long fashionably plump legs, her mini-skirt and heels caught my eyes. Her inebriating perfume and impeccable make-up could hardly be missed. I waved shyly. She smiled broadly and waved back. I thought to myself that was my lucky day. I said to myself that these things happened when you least expected. One day or another, everybody is bound to bump into an interesting attractive person, and today, I was striking it rich.
As I approached her, I was thinking that I had to be quick. After saying some sweet nothings, my strategy was to get her phone number and ask her out one or two days later.
“Are you going to have Sushi for dinner today?” I blurted out.
“No”, said she grinning.
Puzzled, I looked around in an attempt to outsmart her and come up with the name of the place she was going to. There was a Portuguese restaurant across the street.
Hastily, I said.” Portuguese food it is. Good choice”.
“I am not here for dinner”, she pronounced charmingly.
Not sure of what to say, I added nervously. “You can’t just stand here by your car”. Chuckling, I continued. “People are going to think you are …”
I stopped short. I had a poignant realization of why she was standing there.

segunda-feira, 26 de setembro de 2011

ASK YOUR TEACHER ANYTHING (OR ALMOST): A NIGHT ON THE TOWN

ASK YOUR TEACHER ANYTHING (OR ALMOST): A NIGHT ON THE TOWN: A NIGHT ON THE TOWN I remember my first day in America. Actually, my first night. It was a cold winter night. It had been snowing heavily ...

A NIGHT ON THE TOWN

A NIGHT ON THE TOWN

I remember my first day in America. Actually, my first night. It was a cold winter night. It had been snowing heavily for about a week. So I had been told. I went to a piano bar down in the Village. Some students I had bumped into at college had told that that was perfect place to meet people.
Well, I was eager to sail on uncharted territory and find myself a date. There were two problems, though. I didn´t know anyone at the bar, and everyone seemed to know one another.
So I swooped down from table to table trying to strike a conversation with anyone. Some bar goers didn´t even acknowledge the fact that I was standing directly in front of them, waiting for the right moment to jump into the conversation. Others just smirked, silently telling me to go away.
There I was, sipping my wine very slowly - as I didn’t have enough cash to buy a second glass - and trying to make eye contact with my victim. As time passed, I realized that my chances of hooking up with a partner of the opposite sex were very slim. Nervously, I began to guzzle my drink. I was about to give up when I saw a beauty sitting on a stool across from the bar counter. I thought to myself: “that´s my big chance”. However I was so anxious that I didn´t know what to say. I wasn’t thinking straight. I realized she had been smoking a lot and was a little tense. So I walked up to her and uttered those wonderful magic words:” I’ve been here for nearly 10 minutes and I couldn´t help but notice that´s your third cigarette!”
She puffed and slowly moved her eyes up to meet mine. She paused for a moment and sarcastically said:” Great! You know how to count!”
Apparently, I didn´t realize the gravity of the situation as well as the stupidity of my reckless remark. So I continued.
“It´s just that I never know what to say to a beautiful woman”.
She quickly replied:’ How about good-bye?